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Food/Drink/Health/Local/Science

Alcoholic Lectures People On Dangers Of Fluoride In Drinking Water

Alcoholic Lectures People On Dangers Of Fluoride In Drinking Water By: Graham Reinbold PEORIA, IL—Local alcoholic, Bradley Jacobs, is making sure everyone in the neighborhood knows the dangers of drinking fluoride laced tap water. “The government puts dangerous chemicals into what we drink, and most people are too ignorant to care,” says Jacobs, eyeballing four fingers of Jim Beam into a styrofoam cup. Jacobs hopes to take the wool off people’s eyes once and for all, and show how the government is attacking the health of the American people.  “Seriously, government and conspiracy go together better than my morning whiskey… … Keep Reading

6 Times We Saw Jon Hamm Slurp His Own Fucking Piss

By: Simon Tessmer   LOS ANGELES, CA—We tracked Hamm’s activity for over a decade to find out his one big, dirty secret: he slurps his own fucking piss. We at Word Brothel were so excited to catch him in the act, and here we present the six most tantalizing times we caught Jon Hamm gleefully gorging on his own urine.    May 3rd 2007, 7:06 am – Easton Gym The Mad Men actor loves the low-key vibe of this casual L.A. fitness spot almost as much as he loves hydrating with his own fucking piss. We spotted him on a… … Keep Reading

Local/Social

5 Comfy Summer Outfits That Will Make A Stranger Scream “SHOW ME YOUR TITS BITCH!”

By: Josie Benedetti Whether you’re on your way to work or the beach, these perfect summer pairings will be sure to make somebody, somewhere scream “SHOW ME YOUR TITS BITCH!” Summer is finally here and there’s nothing like a cute polka dot romper to keep you feeling cool and comfortable…that is until some dude in a truck yells that he “wants to make those titties bounce”! Lol! Major Summer Vibes Y’all!     Nothing sucks more than heading to work in the summer heat, except of course a group of men passing you on the way home shouting that they… … Keep Reading

Dog Pedigrees: Most Overlooked Form Of Institutional Racism

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Jan. 16, 2016 Year after year purebred dogs compete for best in show and year after year these competitions further the need for discussion of the most pressing social issue of our time: purebred privilege. It’s 2016 and it is as prevalent now as ever, and it’s not about heritage and genealogy; it’s the most blatant form of institutional racism. It’s not just about acknowledging the privileges that purebred dogs have, but the struggle that mixed-breed dogs face. They don’t understand what it’s like to be out on a walk and hear someone call them the M word (mutt or…

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Tupac’s Hologram Announces 2016 Presidential Bid

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Jan. 15, 2016 The hologram of late rapper Tupac Shakur has announced he will run for President of the United States in the 2016 election. This is a monumental achievement for the hologram community as well as the rap community. While the living Tupac would probably have voted Democrat (if he voted at all), Tupac’s hologram will run for candidacy as a Republican. Tupac’s hologram may not have the power to speak of his own accord, but the late Tupac’s discography has been mashed up by his campaign manager and will be used for debates, rally speeches, campaign ads, and…

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New Fantasy Football Off The Gridiron Takes Nation By Storm

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Jan. 14, 2016 Amidst controversy over gambling laws, fantasy football has found another loophole to allow players to continue wagering and winning money with their favorite players. What’s the catch? The action happens off the field in this new game: Fantasy Football Off The Gridiron. Players of Fantasy Football OTG will still be able to draft players and make teams, but rather than choosing players for their performance on the field, in OTG players are chosen for their behavior off the field. Different behaviors are given different point values and most of the action happens in the offseason, providing players…

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Texas High School Eliminates Science From Curriculum

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Jan. 14, 2016 Arlington, TX A school board measure at Texas High School passed this week that will effectively end science from being taught as a core subject. Parents, students, and educators all supported the cut. “There was just too much curriculum in that subject that contradicted the existence of God. We couldn’t in good conscience continue to teach lies like that to innocent children,” remarked Ellen Goodman, 24 year educator and mother of three. Cuts like these are not new at Texas High School. In 1997 the history books were substituted with Bibles. In 2009 the school also said…

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