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Horrible New Disease Epidemic Transmitted By Smoking Marijuana

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By: Dr. Simon Ford While marijuana has some medicinal qualities and is relatively safe for users, new problems have arisen from the substances unregulated use such as over indulging in edibles and cartridges cut with dangerous lung collapsing additives. Now an even more looming threat is on the horizon: Ganjarrhea, a strain of STD that can be transmitted by sharing marijuana with other users. This disease is so contagious that sexual contact is not necessary to transmit it to others. All it takes is one hit off of an infected joint, blunt, bong etc. to contract the disease. It can…

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Jimmy Hoffa Makes Triumphant Return To Society On FOX’s The Masked Singer

By: Maximilian Stolte American labor union leader and grown man who still went by Jimmy instead of James, Jimmy Hoffa, had been missing for 44 years and was declared dead in absentia at the hilarious age of 69. Well, the worker’s rights bad boy shocked the world once more on this week’s episode of The Masked Singer. His re-appearance has blown the mind’s of conspiracy theorists and historians alike as his disappearance was just a ploy from television producers who were both patient and ahead of their time. Hoffa, dressed as a giant bird, sang a lackluster rendition of Dido’s…

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Alcoholic Lectures People On Dangers Of Fluoride In Drinking Water

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Alcoholic Lectures People On Dangers Of Fluoride In Drinking Water By: Graham Reinbold PEORIA, IL—Local alcoholic, Bradley Jacobs, is making sure everyone in the neighborhood knows the dangers of drinking fluoride laced tap water. “The government puts dangerous chemicals into what we drink, and most people are too ignorant to care,” says Jacobs, eyeballing four fingers of Jim Beam into a styrofoam cup. Jacobs hopes to take the wool off people’s eyes once and for all, and show how the government is attacking the health of the American people.  “Seriously, government and conspiracy go together better than my morning whiskey…

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6 Times We Saw Jon Hamm Slurp His Own Fucking Piss

By: Simon Tessmer   LOS ANGELES, CA—We tracked Hamm’s activity for over a decade to find out his one big, dirty secret: he slurps his own fucking piss. We at Word Brothel were so excited to catch him in the act, and here we present the six most tantalizing times we caught Jon Hamm gleefully gorging on his own urine.    May 3rd 2007, 7:06 am – Easton Gym The Mad Men actor loves the low-key vibe of this casual L.A. fitness spot almost as much as he loves hydrating with his own fucking piss. We spotted him on a…

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5 Comfy Summer Outfits That Will Make A Stranger Scream “SHOW ME YOUR TITS BITCH!”

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By: Josie Benedetti Whether you’re on your way to work or the beach, these perfect summer pairings will be sure to make somebody, somewhere scream “SHOW ME YOUR TITS BITCH!” Summer is finally here and there’s nothing like a cute polka dot romper to keep you feeling cool and comfortable…that is until some dude in a truck yells that he “wants to make those titties bounce”! Lol! Major Summer Vibes Y’all!     Nothing sucks more than heading to work in the summer heat, except of course a group of men passing you on the way home shouting that they…

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7 Songs You’ll Like Once We Tell You The Musicians Are Hot

By: Simon Tessmer In an ideal world the only thing relevant to a song’s popularity would be the quality of its music. However, we’re all horny as fuck and imagining the steamy sexiness of a lead singer can elevate the listening experience of any given pop trash. Here are seven especially egregious examples of songs you won’t like until you realize how attractive the musicians are.   Fallen Horses – Smash Mouth We love sleeve tattoos, goatees, and unwashed ‘In Rock We Trust’ t-shirts, which is to say we have wet dreams about Steve Harwell on the regular. There’s something…

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God Sends Jesus Back For 4,015th Time

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By: Daniel Wightkin HEAVEN, IL—Assuring Himself that this time around would be different, God, the Everlasting Father, reportedly decided on Tuesday to send His son, Jesus, back to Earth for the Four Thousand And Fifteenth Coming of Christ. “Hmm, I haven’t tried starting in Canada for a while and they seem to be doing okay considering everything that is going on down there right now,” muttered the Almighty to Himself, trying to ignore the nagging fact that the previous four thousand and fourteen attempts to save His creation ended in utter disaster.  “Thankfully stoning is out of fashion, so maybe…

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