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Jimmy Hoffa Makes Triumphant Return To Society On FOX’s The Masked Singer

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By: Maximilian Stolte American labor union leader and grown man who still went by Jimmy instead of James, Jimmy Hoffa, had been missing for 44 years and was declared dead in absentia at the hilarious age of 69. Well, the worker’s rights bad boy shocked the world once more on this week’s episode of The Masked Singer. His re-appearance has blown the mind’s of conspiracy theorists and historians alike as his disappearance was just a ploy from television producers who were both patient and ahead of their time. Hoffa, dressed as a giant bird, sang a lackluster rendition of Dido’s…

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6 Times We Saw Jon Hamm Slurp His Own Fucking Piss

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By: Simon Tessmer   LOS ANGELES, CA—We tracked Hamm’s activity for over a decade to find out his one big, dirty secret: he slurps his own fucking piss. We at Word Brothel were so excited to catch him in the act, and here we present the six most tantalizing times we caught Jon Hamm gleefully gorging on his own urine.    May 3rd 2007, 7:06 am – Easton Gym The Mad Men actor loves the low-key vibe of this casual L.A. fitness spot almost as much as he loves hydrating with his own fucking piss. We spotted him on a…

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7 Songs You’ll Like Once We Tell You The Musicians Are Hot

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By: Simon Tessmer In an ideal world the only thing relevant to a song’s popularity would be the quality of its music. However, we’re all horny as fuck and imagining the steamy sexiness of a lead singer can elevate the listening experience of any given pop trash. Here are seven especially egregious examples of songs you won’t like until you realize how attractive the musicians are.   Fallen Horses – Smash Mouth We love sleeve tattoos, goatees, and unwashed ‘In Rock We Trust’ t-shirts, which is to say we have wet dreams about Steve Harwell on the regular. There’s something…

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God Sends Jesus Back For 4,015th Time

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By: Daniel Wightkin HEAVEN, IL—Assuring Himself that this time around would be different, God, the Everlasting Father, reportedly decided on Tuesday to send His son, Jesus, back to Earth for the Four Thousand And Fifteenth Coming of Christ. “Hmm, I haven’t tried starting in Canada for a while and they seem to be doing okay considering everything that is going on down there right now,” muttered the Almighty to Himself, trying to ignore the nagging fact that the previous four thousand and fourteen attempts to save His creation ended in utter disaster.  “Thankfully stoning is out of fashion, so maybe…

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Inspirational! This Woman Cured Vaginismus By Masturbating To Enya

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By: Tanya Kornilovich Chicago, IL—A local woman, Stephanie Anne Smith-Cochran*, is on a mission to prove that vaginismus doesn’t have to be a life sentence of dick-less existence. Smith-Cochran is bravely and anonymously bringing awareness to the issue of vaginismus and how it can be cured with extensive exposure to Irish singer-songwriter Enya.  After one too many bike accidents, and binging The Bachelorette, Smith-Cochran found herself unable to insert a tampon, much less call on her boy toy for some recreational sex. Smith-Cochran, who holds an Associate degree and is an entrepreneur, does not have health insurance and resorted to…

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Blasting Off With Taron Egerton: Exclusive Interview

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By: Simon Tessmer You may know movie star Taron Egerton as the lead suave spy in the Kingsman franchise, but singing and tickling the ivories? Indeed, the Welsh actor is taking a less violent and more lyrical turn as the iconic singer/songwriter Elton John in the upcoming musical biopic Rocketman. Word Brothel had the privilege of catching up with Taron at his Los Angeles estate to talk singing, portraying an icon, and sacrificing Elton John at a blood altar to absorb his essential life force. What was your biggest challenge in preparing to play such an iconic figure? I was…

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3 Endgame Spoilers To Really Get Things Heated In The Bedroom

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By: Josie Benedetti CHICAGO, IL—Things are about to get heated! You saw Endgame yesterday and your boyfriend can’t go until Monday! These spoilers are so vague, you’ll leave him squirming on the floor, drenched in sweat, begging you to “PLEASE, for the love of God, stop! This isn’t fun for me! PLEASE!”   Stan Lee Makes a Cameo! Uh-oh, you’ve been a naughty girl! Everybody knows Stan Lee always makes a cameo in every one of the Avenger movies but by even mentioning it you’ll have your man’s veins bulging out of his head! Really get him going right by…

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