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Sad! This Lonely, Work Obsessed Mortician Forgot The Word For Living Cadavers

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  • May 16, 2022
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Newborn Kind Of Glad He Ate Twin In Womb After Emerging To Baby Formula Shortage

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  • May 13, 2022
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Olympic Gold Medalist Dies Doing What He Loved, Not Breathing And Flailing Arms Around

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  • April 14, 2022
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Parents Hype Up PBS Period Drama as Next ‘Breaking Bad’

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  • April 1, 2022
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Heart Of Gold: Most Popular Girl In School Goes To Prom With Entire Student Body

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  • March 1, 2022
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National Geographic Photographer Forced To Let Nature Run Its Course As Buffalo Chokes On Coke Can

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  • February 28, 2022
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Controversial ‘That’s So Raven’ Lost Episode Script Finally Released To Public

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  • February 21, 2022
Down & Out Morpheus Busted Selling Surplus Blue Pills Outside Nursing Home
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Down & Out Morpheus Busted Selling Surplus Blue Pills Outside Nursing Home

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  • December 8, 2020

By: Max Stolte THE MATRIX—In the grimy gutters and back alleys of this simulation we

Study: Tinder Market Saturated with Kyles
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Study: Tinder Market Saturated with Kyles

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  • December 6, 2020

Study: Tinder Market Saturated with Kyles By: Katie Pecho LOS ANGELES, CA—A landmark study by

Obama Already Asking Biden If He Can Play With His Drones
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Obama Already Asking Biden If He Can Play With His Drones

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  • December 4, 2020

By: Nick Coffman WASHINGTON, D.C.—Within minutes of his election victory, President-elect Joe Biden had already

You Won’t Believe These 5 Things We Just Made Up!
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You Won’t Believe These 5 Things We Just Made Up!

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  • December 3, 2020

Let’s be honest, you didn’t come here to read some shitty preamble. Let’s just get

Kid Hawking Hand-Drawn Marvel Characters In Home Room Makes Forbes 10 Under 10 List
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Kid Hawking Hand-Drawn Marvel Characters In Home Room Makes Forbes 10 Under 10 List

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  • December 2, 2020

By: Max Stolte NEW YORK, NY—Daniel “Danny” Michaelson is setting the bar for a new

Dad Just Glad He Got To Crowded Restaurant Right On Time
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Dad Just Glad He Got To Crowded Restaurant Right On Time

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  • December 1, 2020

By: Katie Pecho NAPERVILLE, IL— Local dad Bob Richter was in awe Friday evening after

A Review of Productivity Apps I Stopped Using in Favor of Returning to a Life of Sloth
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A Review of Productivity Apps I Stopped Using in Favor of Returning to a Life of Sloth

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  • November 18, 2020

By: Katie Pecho This was going to be a big year for me. I was

Podcasters Solve More Murders Than Police, Receive State Issued Badges And Guns
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Podcasters Solve More Murders Than Police, Receive State Issued Badges And Guns

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  • November 15, 2020

CHICAGO, IL—Recent reports from the Department of Justice show that podcasters and documentarians solve more

‘Eyes Up Here,’ Snaps Mother Whose Baby Only Sees Her As A Pair Of Tits
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‘Eyes Up Here,’ Snaps Mother Whose Baby Only Sees Her As A Pair Of Tits

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  • November 14, 2020

By: Maddie Arnold CHICAGO– Reeling after an absolutely incredible breast-feeding sesh, local baby Georgie Lanstrop

Battle-Scarred Veterans Celebrate Victory In War On Drugs In Oregon
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Battle-Scarred Veterans Celebrate Victory In War On Drugs In Oregon

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  • November 11, 2020

By: Max Stolte EUGENE, OR—As reinforcements came in the form of ballots, warworn soldiers in

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