Tupac’s Hologram Announces 2016 Presidential Bid

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Jan. 15, 2016

The hologram of late rapper Tupac Shakur has announced he will run for President of the United States in the 2016 election. This is a monumental achievement for the hologram community as well as the rap community. While the living Tupac would probably have voted Democrat (if he voted at all), Tupac’s hologram will run for candidacy as a Republican.

Tupac’s hologram may not have the power to speak of his own accord, but the late Tupac’s discography has been mashed up by his campaign manager and will be used for debates, rally speeches, campaign ads, and the first ever pre-election rap battle. 

Amidst Donald J. Trump‘s statements of hubris concerning Mitt Romney‘s wealth compared to his own, Tupac’s hologram had this to say:

“Talking about you Getting Money
But it’s funny to me
All you niggas living bummy
While you fucking with me?
I’m a self made Millionaire
Thug livin’, out of prison
Pistols in the Air”

In regards to the likelihood of his running against Democratic hopeful Hillary Clinton, Tupac’s hologram told reporters he would definitely be using lines from his hit “Wonda Why They Call U Bitch” in his rap battle with her. Particularly the lines:

“Look here Miss Thang
hate to salt your game
but yous a money hungry woman
and you need to change.

In tha locker room
all the homies do is laugh.
High fives cuz anotha nigga
played your ass.”

Mrs. Clinton could not be reached for comment.

Considering Tupac’s hologram’s stance on gun rights, statements objectifying women, and inherent emptiness and lack of soul, he is sure to fare well in the GOP.