Where The Fuck Is Our Money, Bloomberg?
Our keenest readers may have noticed over the last couple weeks that Word Brothel has been surreptitiously publishing content that has leaned in favor of ex New York mayor Michael Bloomberg’s campaign for Democratic presidential candidate. In light of recent events concerning Mr. Bloomberg’s campaign tactics, and to a greater extent, his use of personal funds, however, we must come clean. The pro-Bloomberg pieces in question, despite their veneer of authenticity, were a ruse. A farce. A joke. No more than the buffoonery of a small staff of comedy writers trying to make light of a candidate who literally bought his way into a U.S. presidential race. We claimed to have been paid to run content in support of Bloomberg, but in reality, we were doing nothing more than making feeble attempts to garner clicks and page views.
As artists, we were happy with simply creating work which spoke to our sense of humor. This fact remained true right up until we read an article in Forbes detailing how Michael Bloomberg had actually done the thing we joked about doing. He paid professional jokesters akin to ourselves vast sums of money to post nigh on satirical content of himself within the annals of dopamine dispensaries like Instagram and Twitter. So now we must ask: Mr. Bloomberg, WHERE THE FUCK IS OUR MONEY? Hiring Fyre Festival accomplices like Fuck Jerry and other unoriginal meme re-distributors to amplify your public persona with the youngsters will be your biggest mistake since stop-and-frisk. That is, unless you do the right thing and pay us for the top-notch branded content that we have generously provided for you.
Until your offshore bank account comes to its senses, Word Brothel has no choice but to officially endorse Senator Elizabeth Warren for president. When elected to office, she, with Word Brothel’s support, will be all over your billionaire ass with the dankest memes that wealth-tax money can buy. See you on Instagram, Mike!
*PAID FOR BY WARREN FOR PRESIDENT