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Local news from around the world! We provide coverage of happenings from regions worldwide.

Report: Man With Tiny Car Must Have Huge Dick

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8/8/2017 By: Jack Hutsey SKOKIE, IL—Throwing back Platinum Margaritas and Rosé carafes at the California Pizza Kitchen at the Westfield Old Orchard Mall in Skokie, three women caught sight of a modern marvel as Terry Farkle, 32, parked his 1997 Mitsubishi Mirage.  “Once I saw it was a subcompact car with no hubcaps and a stuffed Garfield hanging up in the rear windshield, I immediately knew this guy was packing some serious pants heat. I mean, a real knee tapper. That’s probably why he was wearing cargo shorts, for the extra storage,” said Juliet Friese, the alpha queen of the…

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Mom Texting Son At Lollapalooza Doesn’t Know How To Interpret ‘I’m on LSD’

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8/6/2017 By: Jason Elewski CHICAGO—Parents whose teens are attending Lollapalooza this weekend know a thing or two about keeping it real, but at least one local mom forgot to take her chill pill before letting her son attend the music fest. Despite the reassuring notion that hospitals are preparing for an influx of badass kids who have out-awesomed themselves this year, Lauren Wilkinson can’t stop being a stick in the mud after receiving at text update from her son, which stated that he was “on LSD”. Lauren felt at ease for a moment, assuming that her baby boy was heading…

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Dipping Sauce Challenge Raising Awareness For Hunger In America

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Our friend Brody is always raising our level of social consciousness and awareness for important issues. We at Word Brothel believe in his message and want all of you to join in spreading the word and helping him achieve his goals. All you have to do is follow the steps and post your own video! Watch the video below!

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Family Plans Camping Trip To Front Row Of Pitchfork Stage

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7/14/2017 By: Jason Elewski CHICAGO—It’s a time-honored tradition to sit your ass in front of the stage of your favorite headliner for the duration of an entire day at a summer music festival. It separates the fans from the super fans. Ready for the onstage reunion of LCD Soundsystem, super-duper fans, John and Ellen Strauss, aren’t leaving anything to chance this summer when it comes to seeing their favorite band perform. Fearing the possibility of standing in the back row with common casual fans, they have decided to pack up their two children and head 5 miles south for a…

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This Father’s Day Let Your Dad Know That You Need Money

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6/15/2017 By: Erika Hakmiller Its Father’s Day, which means you might be traveling home (expensive!) to spend the weekend with your dad (who literally does nothing but sit around in piles of money all day). So let’s remind him that you are a struggling artist just trying to make it in the big city. Just because it’s Father’s Day doesn’t mean you can’t get any gifts. Here are some pointers on how to let your dad know that, this Father’s day, you need cash. First, start off by being honest about how inconvenient this whole trip was for you. I mean,…

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Judge Has No Choice, Lets Murder Suspect With “Only God Can Judge Me” Tattoo Walk

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6/10/2017 By: Maximilian Stolte BIRMINGHAM, AL—Early this morning, following a lengthy trial before a jury of his peers, murder suspect Mark Coleman was found not guilty of all charges related to the murder of Jessica Barrington. Despite irrefutable evidence that Coleman was the murderer, during the closing remarks, information was introduced that would blow a giant hole in this case: Coleman has a tattoo that says “Only God Can Judge Me” on his forehead. On the final day of the trial, Coleman removed his signature baseball cap to reveal his tat. Judge Harrison Sharp was at a loss for words…

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We Made This Vegan Live With A Cow For A Week And By Friday He Was Ready To Eat It

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6/6/2017 By: Maximilian Stolte When we met Ollie Hendricks, what first occured to us was that he was vegan. We knew almost immediately because he was eating something and proclaimed, “It’s so good, AND it’s vegan. A lot of people think vegan food doesn’t taste as good, but they’re wrong.” He rambled on about it for longer than any of us had the patience to listen. At some point we caught him saying something about how poorly the meat industry treats cattle and thought, “Wouldn’t it be fun if we made this guy live with a cow for a week?”…

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Single Man Only Cleans Dirty Dishes Moments Before Using Them To Cook Again

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5/31/2017 By: Maximilian Stolte CHICAGO, IL—Early this morning, just before he enjoyed his breakfast, a single man named Jason Dimond cleaned just enough dirty dishes that had been sitting in his sink to cook his meal. The ever-filled sink of dirty silverware, plates, and bowls was momentarily relieved of some mess while he cooked and ate his meal. Promptly following his meal, however, the sink was just as full as before. Jason has been cleaning and using his kitchenware in this manner ever since the break up. There was once a time when his girlfriend would berate him with names…

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Nickelodeon Gives Back To Orlando Homeless (Video)

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5/28/2017 Nickelodeon is giving back to the homeless population of Orlando by donating their surplus of slime and old game show t-shirts. Their philanthropy is being noted as admirable by many, but some believe that this is an empty gesture and no more than a PR stunt and way to rid their studios of unwanted inventory. Let us know in the comments what you think!

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Brave Child Shaves Head in Solidarity With Balding Father

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  5/9/2017 Written By: Maximilian Stolte JACKSON, MS–When Bill Haverford’s male pattern baldness began, he tried everything to prevent it: hair treatments, special shampoos, vitamin supplements, you name it. Nothing seemed to work to restore his hair to its full, youthful appearance and he plummeted into clinical depression. That all changed when his son, Alec, bravely shaved his head in solidarity with his father. Alec’s kindness is truly a win for compassion, an act that restores one’s faith in humanity. This child risked ridicule from his peers just to make his father feel better about himself. Alec said about his…

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