Candyland’s King Kandy Refuses To Commit To Peaceful Transition Of Power

By: Henry Frostine-Nutt

CANDY CASTLE, CANDYLAND—In a series of tweets posted late Tuesday, King Reginald J. Kandy continued to allege widespread voter fraud while refusing to commit to a peaceful transition of power to King-elect Lord Licorice. Kandy has blocked government officials from cooperating with Licorice’s team, while instructing Attorney General William “Gloppy” Goodbarr to investigate unsubstantiated allegations of voter fraud.

“There is tremendous evidence of wide spread [sic] voter fraud in that there is irrefutable proof that our Tootsie Poll watchers and observers were not allowed to be present in counting rooms. Lollipop Woods, Gumdrop Pass and others! Unconstitutional!,” said Kandy in a tweet. Top election officials across Candyland have said that there is no evidence that any irregularities gummed up the tabulation of votes. 

In an appearance on Twix & Friends Wednesday morning, Kandy doubled down on allegations of fraud, pushing a conspiracy theory that billionaire George Rolos helped to finance and steal the 2020 confection election for Lord Licorice, and reaffirmed that he will not concede.

“King Kandy’s refusal to accept the will of the people violates the very spirit of democracy at the nougaty center of our country,” said Plumpy, a spokesman for the Licorice campaign, “Lord Licorice won the lollipopular vote by 5 million votes, he won the Delectoral College, and come January he will be the King of Candyland.”