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Zuckerberg Releases Nightmarish Trove Of Trump Dick Pics In Failed Attempt To Win Back Public Support

By: Simon Tessmer PALO ALTO, CA—Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has released thousands of photographs of the president’s ugly penis in the hopes of capitalizing on anti-Trump sentiment and improving his public image. Despite tepid, perfunctory support from the Men’s Rights Activism movement, Zuckerberg has earned near-universal criticism and embroiled the globe in debilitating nausea.   “Our data from the past year indicated a widespread interest in Donald Trump’s sexual transgressions,” Zuckerberg explained in his home office. “The terms ‘Trump’ and ‘penis’ appeared in users’ texts, emails, and phone conversations at a markedly increased rate since Stormy Daniels’ book was published.… … Keep Reading


BREAKING: Donald Trump Has A Pretty Regular Dick, Breaking Years Of Presidential Tradition

By: Jack Hutsey WASHINGTON, D.C.—After hearing that President Donald Trump has a dick shaped like a mushroom, the nation is in a state of shock and rage. Never before in American history has the country been led by a man with a normal looking dick. “This is unprecedented and quite frankly, unprofessional and unbecoming of the office of the presidency,” Arthur Patrick Gable, official Presidential Penis Historian and Curator of the Commander-in-Chief Dick Museum and Education Center, said. It is the unspoken rule of the Presidency that the holder of the office must have a weird looking rod. Concave. Swirled.… … Keep Reading


Fearless Council Of Male Comedians Forgive Louis C.K.

By: Allie Rubin A group of brave, handsome male comedians convened a press conference following Louis C.K.’s surprise stand-up set at the Comedy Cellar on Monday to announce that they had finally deemed the comedian, 50, worthy of their forgiveness. “Too long has the world been deprived of Louis C.K.’s unique voice,” announced Josh Robertson, 28, who performs on the all-male Chicago indie improv team ‘Prostitots.’ “We believe that Louis’s nine months spent traveling in Europe have been adequate punishment for his minor indiscretions. We have carefully considered the situation and are thrilled to announce, on behalf of all male… … Keep Reading


You Won’t Believe What The Baby’s Penis From Nirvana’s Nevermind Album Cover Looks Like Now!

By: Maximilian Stolte We all remember the cute baby diving in a pool chasing a dollar bill on Nirvana’s album cover for Nevermind. Not only was it loaded with social commentary about America and capitalism, it also featured a determined baby with the unusual skill of being comfortable while submerged in water. Now that baby is all grown up and, believe it or not, so is his penis. The album cover is less than flattering for young Spencer Elden, former nude child model, but in his defense, he was in a cold swimming pool and shrinkage is a scientific fact.… … Keep Reading


Trump’s Gigantic Dick Is Extremely Impotent And He Doesn’t Have A Clue Whether Or Not To Call This Fake News

By: Jason Elewski WASHINGTON DC—Like a virus spreading illness through its host, #fakenews has infected the 24 hour news cycle. Incapable of deciphering the authentic from the fraudulent, Americans have turned to the nation’s most stable genius to tell them what can be trusted. Until now, president Donald Trump’s Twitter page has served as a Rosetta Stone of sorts, calling foul on bogus stories from phony institutions like the failing New York Times, stupid NBC, and poopy pants NPR. Unfortunately, we at Word Brothel, unable to discern what’s credible, have written this piece reporting that Donald Trump’s enormous monster dick… … Keep Reading

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