Fake News Media Concocted Fake News Story of 7 Fake New Planets
By: Jason Elewski
2017 has already proven to be a sobering time for the news-reading public. Earlier this year, President Trump kicked off his already successful term in office by triumphantly discrediting the media after rejecting any so-called empirical fact that reflected negatively upon him. The American people were able to breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that they didn’t have to decipher the coded lies hidden in the pages of the newspaper, but could instead have their untainted truth spoon-fed to them directly from our Commander in Chief. The FAKE NEWS media is now on the run, which makes it even more shocking that they had the balls to report on a story claiming that the liberal pseudoscience money-suck branch of the Democratic party, NASA, had discovered 7 Earth-size planets orbiting the so-called “nearby” star, Trappist-1.
The New York Times and other FAKE NEWS outlets were outed this morning when President Trump issued a press release via a 3 part tweet on Twitter at about 3:20pm saying, “Look, the egghead smarty-pantses at “NASA” are saying that this Trappist-whatever star is nearby. I know some top people in science, they’re very good and they tell me that the star, I know stars, this is no star, it’s small and red, is 235 trillion miles away. The failing New York Times says that’s a nearby star. 235 trillion miles isn’t close. These fake planets aren’t remotely close to us. Far!” He then reminded his followers about how NASA did “take-backsies” with Pluto’s status as a planet, further discrediting the know-it-all science community and the sheep that print their lies. Press Secretary Sean Spicer later echoed these comments to the one reporter in the White House Press Briefing Room: Sponsored by Ivanka Trump Perfume.
It’s long been suspected that the FAKE NEWS media has been fabricating all of its “news” and not simply every story about this one specific presidency. With this morning’s bombshell, however, we are another step closer to holding news outlets accountable for previous lies such as 9/11. When asked to explain himself for his deceit, Executive Editor of the New York Times, “Lying” Dean Baquet, responded, “Why in the world would we make this story up?” We don’t know. We just know it’s FAKE NEWS.