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7 Songs Jesus Might Have Walked Out Of Tomb To If They Came Out 2,000 Years Earlier

7 Songs Jesus Might Have Walked Out Of Tomb To If They Came Out 2,000 Years Earlier

4/16/2017

By: Maximilian Stolte

Today is Easter and almost 2,000 years ago Jesus woke up from the dead after a 3 day trip to the afterlife. While we don’t know for certain what his musical tastes were, let’s just go ahead and assume an entrance this grand would have been accompanied by an amazing song. While we’re at it, let’s imagine popular songs from today came out 2,000 years earlier and he could choose from any of them.


7. Jesus Walks- Kanye West

This one should be obvious. Like a major league baseball player’s walk out song, this one has everything. A dope beat, hip hop lyrics, and mention of the main man himself, JC. It’s pretty safe to assume Jesus would have strolled out of that cave like an OG to this banger.


6. I Will Survive- Gloria Gaynor

Disco may be dead, but not the son of God! It’s not hard to picture Jesus stepping out to this one and proclaiming to the world, “I will survive!” He’s saving his love for someone who’s loving Him…all believers!


5. Stayin’ Alive- Bee Gees

Remember that thing we said about disco? We meant it. Jesus is the epitome of stayin’ alive. The lyrics of this song would definitely speak to the king of kings. “It’s alright. It’s OK. And you may look the other way.” Turn the other cheek anyone? “Got the wings of heaven on my shoes.” Come on, can this song be any better suited for dancing your way out of a tomb?


4. I’m Back- Eminem

Guess who’s back? The number one savior of your mortal soul! If this one had only come out 2,000 years earlier it would have surely been a favorite of Christ.


3. It’s a Great Day to Be Alive- Travis Tritt

Country artists seem to love the Big Guy, so it’s pretty safe to assume he would reciprocate that love. Maybe he would walk out to this one. I mean the lyric “Got a three day beard I don’t plan to shave” would be too fitting for Jesus not to sing along. According to every picture of him, he’s still rocking that beard!


2. Tears In Heaven- Eric Clapton

Now this one would be a dedication to Jesus from his pops. Going home is always a little emotional and this song would give goosebumps to anyone who understood what he just went through.


  1. Alive- Pearl Jam

Surprise! He’s still alive! If Jesus could have an Easter resurrection anthem that wasn’t limited to the time in which he was alive, this would be it. Happy re-birthday J-man! Enjoy this playlist as you celebrate cheating death and giving all who believe in you everlasting life!


Bonus: Yakety Sax!

This didn’t make the official list, but if Jesus had a sense of humor you KNOW he would play this one. Then maybe have a disciple video tape as He ran around like a maniac and then speed it up, if this song and that equipment existed 2,000 years ago that is.

Word Brothel

Word Brothel