By: Jennifer Allman
LOS ANGELES, CA— Love is dead. We all know it, but now we know why. America’s sweethearts, Anna Faris and Chris Pratt shocked the country with the news of their separation. Perhaps more shocking is the real reason behind the couple’s split: an irreparable feud between the two’s preferences for Seth MacFarlane television programs. Anna Faris prefers the lovable, accidental witticisms of Peter Griffin while Chris Pratt can’t let go of his adoration for big-chinned Stan Smith.
We can’t fault these two for their disagreement. Their fates were sealed at birth. Faris grew up in Baltimore and in Seattle. She relates to the working class, nitty-gritty feel of Quahog, Rhode Island. Pratt is a Minnesota boy, and in many ways always will be. Having been born in the town of Virginia, Minnesota, it is no wonder his allegiances lie with the Langley Falls, Virginia fictional family.
Says Faris, “I just couldn’t pretend anymore. We tried, we really tried you know— for the sake of our son, Jack. I find the Griffin family to be so real and relatable. Plus that talking dog, Brian, is just so cute. You’d never expect that two shows that center around families could tear your own family apart, but here we are.”
When initially asked about the couple’s conflict surrounding these animated programs, Pratt declined to comment. He later reached out and said, “I did Guardians of the Galaxy right? And then I did Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 and like, in between those there was Jurassic World. And I’m just really proud of Passengers, just everything it stands for and everything else. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I really relate to Roger, the alien on American Dad. I filmed 3 whole movies that take place in outer space so it’s a part of me— I relate to it and it really hurts that Anna could never truly understand how much of an impact that has on my day to day life.”
Faris plans on spending as much time as she can with her son, on the couch, watching Family Guy without interruption from Chris constantly saying, “Ugh, why are they still doing so many cutaways?”
When Faris and Pratt were prompted for their opinion on The Cleveland Show the two responded, “Wait, what is that?”