By: Maximilian Stolte
Jason Peters of Denver, Colorado got so high today that he completely forgot to update everyone on his social media accounts about his marijuana usage on this of all days. Don’t worry though, he still got very stoned and we have all the exclusive details he wanted to post, but was simply too baked to tell you about. Here is some well needed closure.
His morning started bright and early at the crack of noon, when he ripped his bong, still packed from last night, without even getting out of bed. After a bowl of cereal and deciding not to shower it was time to begin the celebration of his favorite made up holiday!
Around 1:30PM, Jason ate an edible of the brownie variety and didn’t have the patience to let the effects take hold, so he ate two more. Rookie mistake Jason! Once those things kicked in there was no way he was going to remember to keep you posted on his declining sobriety.
The clock struck 2:00PM before any of his stoner friends could make it over and by then he wasn’t even concerned with the internet, much less updating you with the bowl by bowl. At 2:30PM he thought of a joke he thought was pretty funny, but then forgot it before he could test it out on all of you, his Twitter followers.
When the time came, 4:20PM, Jason took what could only be called “a monster dab” and smoked a joint “the size of your fuckin’ arm”. This would be the highlight of his holiday.
Around 6:00 PM it was time to call it a day. Jason turned on Netflix for his friends who didn’t want to leave and crawled back into bed. Too bad he didn’t remember to tell the world about his super eventful day.