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Kitchen Fire Adds Extra Authenticity To Rainforest Cafe

Kitchen Fire Adds Extra Authenticity To Rainforest Cafe

By: Alexandria Ctesibius

NASHVILLE, TN–The Opry Mills Rainforest Cafe is receiving widespread acclaim after a grease fire tore through the restaurant’s kitchen and dining room Thursday afternoon. Patrons have lauded the restaurant for its bold realism and added authenticity.

“You read about all the deforestation that’s going on in the Amazon, and it all feels so abstract,” said patron Louisa Aurellio. “Then you see the flames in front of your face and it starts to feel more real. Once the salad bar was engulfed, it finally clicked how much is at stake.”

Praise for the restaurant fire has not been limited to patrons. Tennessean food critic Jonathan Oro gave the Rainforest Cafe a glowing three-star review in his Friday column.

“As the inferno crept closer and closer to my table, I was utterly transported to the wilds of Borneo,” said Oro. “Staring at the subtle beauty of a robotic elephant trunk while sipping a Mango-rilla Margarita and fighting off carbon monoxide poisoning is a thrill bordering on the sublime.”

Rainforest Cafe has seized on the positive press by adding a range of fire-themed memorabilia to the gift shop, including Rainforest Cafe branded accelerants, home deforestation kits, and children’s matches.

“To be perfectly honest, the fire was not intentional. Some grease on the vent hood caught a spark and before I knew it, the whole kitchen was in flames. I’ve never been  more terrified in my life,” said Rainforest Cafe manager Teddy Pinchot. “But after seeing how people responded, we’ll be lighting the restaurant ablaze twice a day and three times on weekends.” Pinchot added that he did not expect the fire-ravaged kitchen would have an impact on food quality. 

“When Prince and David Bowie died, I realized how important the Hard Rock Cafe is to our culture,” said diner Ken Barrymore. “Now seeing the animatronic gorilla slowly succumb to the flames, I understand that we need to do everything in our power to conserve our remaining Rainforest Cafes to ensure they’ll be around for my children and my children’s children.”

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