Covid-19 Rampaged Los Angeles Chosen As ‘Survivor’ Season 41 Location
By: Max Stolte
LOS ANGELES, CA—When show runners for the hit reality show Survivor were faced with the dilemma of introducing covid-19 to small indigenous populations abroad during filming, one producer saved the day with his proposal to just stay in L.A. and see if the imbecile contestants could stay alive there. Given nothing but the clothes on their backs, they will have to survive the elements similarly to the growing homeless population all around them. Landlords without any marketable skills besides being able to afford property and collect money by exploiting people’s basic need for shelter are heartlessly evicting people across the nation, but this is a TV show with a host and challenges, so it’s pretty entertaining in this context!
One contestant, breaching the non-disclosure agreement in his contract, told reporters about the harrowing experience. “It was so rough. We had to make masks out of discarded newspapers, scavenge for change to hit the closest McDonalds, and maintain safe distance while trying to form alliances and sleep with each other when we thought the cameras weren’t on us,” says one Sheila Brewskie, real estate agent with a rockin’ bod she put on display throughout the season. “I was kind of the hot one this season, but I guess that doesn’t guarantee you a million bucks these days. Thanks to all this body positivity crap, I guess it’s time to shine for uggo bitches like Alexa.”
Contestants compete in challenges similar to past seasons, but with twists that make a little more sense in a once bustling city that’s become a viral death trap. Host Jeff Probst sat down with us and gave some exciting exclusive information on this season’s challenges.
“Well in the first episode we split them into two teams and then had each team choose a representative to lick one of two bus benches. One was contaminated with covid and would provide a little dramatic irony for viewers at home as they wait a couple weeks to see who shows symptoms,” Probst told us in his gigantic house paid for by people who enjoy zoning out and watching well off Americans make a game out of temporarily living like indigenous people still do in foreign countries for a couple months.
This season is a little different in other ways as well. The immunity idol is now a syringe full of one dose of the covid vaccine, and when players are voted off, their torch is extinguished and they are coughed on by a covid positive actual homeless person for five minutes. Editors on the show described it as “pretty hard to watch and gratuitously long.”
If you liked Survivor before you’ll still like this, but you’ll enjoy anything they put on that old moving picture screen won’t you?