Corgi Instagram Influencer Not Even Grateful For Owner Buying Followers

Corgi Instagram Influencer Not Even Grateful For Owner Buying Followers

By: Tanya Kornilovich

CHICAGO, IL—A local Pembroke Welsh just surpassed the chihuahua Marigold as the #1 dog on Instagram. Bagels and his team celebrated with an announcement across all social media platforms with the caption, “Thank you to all my fans who made this paw-sibble.” Bagels, however, is reportedly completely ungrateful for the thousands of followers his mother has bought him on Instagram. 

Dog mom Lynette Smith quit her full time job as a Head of Marketing at a bank in order support Bagels’ childhood dream of advertising dog treats to 600,000 white women across the world. She now runs Bagels’ empire, which has notably involved national ad campaigns for Doggy GoGo Laxatives, a guest appearance on Charlie Sheen’s new podcast, and an upcoming collaboration with Post-Its for forgetful canines. 

“Being famous is all Bagels ever wanted to do. He wagged his tail about it every morning before I locked him in his kennel,” says Smith, who reportedly used to work 14 hours a day. Now, she spends her days managing her son’s hectic schedule and firing and rehiring his hairdressers. 

Understandably, such a workload is taking a toll on Smith and is a possible catalyst for strain that she feels in their relationship. “I don’t know why he doesn’t appreciate me spending $400,000 to buy him Albanian bots. I’m the one who made him the #1 dog on Instagram. I guess that’s a millennial for you.” (Editor’s note: Bagels is actually a Gen Zer). 

We reached out several times to Bagels for his side of the story, but he declined to comment. Instead, he adorably licked this reporter’s hand, which still had a little mayonnaise from lunch on it. (Editor’s note: it was actually a mayonnaise based aioli, but Bagels couldn’t even appreciate the difference).

Smith, a Sheryl Sandberg devotee, has a plan. Besides family therapy three times a week, she has put Bagels on an essential oil diet designed to cultivate his appreciation for social media. 

Word Brothel