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Word Brothel - page 40

Word Brothel has 410 articles published.


7 Lonely Cats Whose Owners Found Valentine’s Dates This Year

When your cat is used to spending every Valentine’s Day with you, finding a date for once in your depressing life can really put stress on your beloved feline friend.   7. Fluffers Meet Fluffers, he is used to spending February 14th with his owner Vanessa, watching her cry into a bowl of ice cream while watching Love Actually for the 20th time since Christmas. This year Vanessa left Fluffers for a date and he repaid her by scratching up her sofa. 6. Mimsy This little guy is in a bit of a slump this V-Day since his tradition of… Keep Reading


2016: The Year Memes Picked The President

Feb. 13, 2016 This year’s presidential election is shaping up to be one for the record books. As if the candidates alone weren’t unique and zany enough, the source of information about them has undergone a transformation as well. Memes are quickly coming to the forefront of political discourse. Those candidates whose supporters make the dankest memes will undoubtedly win the nomination. Donald Trump, the hairpiece that achieved sentience and now controls an orange billionaire’s body, currently has the poorest quality memes being produced. However, his voters have out-memed the rest of the GOP, making him the frontrunner at this… Keep Reading


Sexual Fantasy Football Is A Controversial Hit

Feb. 7, 2016 DraftKings CEO Jason Robins announced exciting news today, just in time for Super Bowl 50. The industry giants introduced their newest platform of fantasy football: Sexual Fantasy Football (SFF). This news comes after the success of their other fantasy football spin off “Off The Gridiron” (link below). New Fantasy Football Off The Gridiron Takes Nation By Storm In the new game, players can choose which of their favorite NFL athletes they would like to see engage in various sexual activities with each other. The interactive software generates realistic simulations of over 500 different sex acts! Game designer… Keep Reading


6 Times Kanye West Was Actually Quoting The Dalai Lama

You may not know it, but there’s a reason Kanye West seems so enlightened and deep when he makes statements in interviews and over social media. That’s because he’s been using quotes straight from the Dalai Lama when appropriate. Here are 6 quotes that most would attribute to Kanye, but were actually said by his holiness, the Dalai Lama. 6. Just hearing this quote read aloud screams Kanye, but that would be a hasty assumption. It was actually the Tibetan monk supreme.   5. Now this sounds like a Buddhist zen koan, or philosophical riddle, rather than a Kanye quote.… Keep Reading


Hillary Adopts 20,000 Voting Age Refugees To Beat Bernie

Feb. 2, 2016 Following in the footsteps of celebrities like Angelina Jolie and Madonna, Hillary Clinton has adopted an insane amount of “children” from overseas in hopes of counteracting the youth vote that Bernie Sanders is currently commanding and simultaneously infuriating Donald Trump. Clinton has given up on using slang terms and attempting to rebrand herself to millennials and has decided instead to adopt 20,000 refugees from Africa and Syria and register them to vote. By exchanging amenities like running water and luxuries like Chinese food delivery for a vote, Clinton has ensured that her newly adopted children will be… Keep Reading


Cop Hopes Bump In Road Is Dog, Not Black Teen

Ferguson, MO February 2, 2016 At approximately 2 p.m. Monday, Officer Jake Finnegan of the Ferguson Police Department was doing his job as usual. While driving around looking for civilians to harass for texting and driving and dicking around on his laptop at the same time, he hit a rather large bump in the road. At first he thought it was just a speed bump, but then he remembered there weren’t any speed bumps in that road. That’s when panic set in. “I thought to myself, please be a dog. Even a really big cat would be fine. Anything but an innocent… Keep Reading


Colorado Big Game Trophy Wook Hunter Kills Denver Man

Jan. 30, 2016 A Facebook group that started as a joke has gotten all too real this weekend as a life is claimed in Denver. The group was started as a catch and release sport, where participants would take a picture with the wook, or stinky jobless hippie who is afraid of scissors and razors, and let them go into the wild. Someone didn’t get the memo. “We at CBGTWH do not condone murdering these wonderful and majestic creatures,” reported Ian Beal, the group’s founder. “Sure, they can be ornery things at times. Belligerent, spaced out, ketamine fueled idiots even.… Keep Reading


This Color Blind Man Is Racist Despite Condition

Jan. 29, 2016 Meet Jacob Jaeger (pictured). He suffers from color blindness, but that isn’t holding him back. When it comes to racial prejudice, Jaeger sees his disability as an obstacle to overcome rather than a road block. “People are always trying so hard to prove they aren’t racist these days. They say things like, ‘I don’t see color’. Well I literally don’t see color. That’s never kept me from hating anybody,” Jaeger told Word Brothel. His perseverance truly is remarkable and commendable. He went on to say, “I can’t see colors like red or green, but I know a… Keep Reading


Rapper B.o.B Claims That Air Is Not Real

Jan. 28, 2016 The Rapper known as B.o.B has been making waves on Twitter and upsetting the scientific community by claiming that he has proven that Earth, the planet he calls home, is not spherical, but in fact flat. This has started a back and forth with the nerd that’s made science cool again, Neil deGrasse Tyson, that culminated in a diss rap aimed at the Cosmos host. Now B.o.B is raising the stakes. Using his gift of keen observation, the wordsmith has brought to light another controversy in the scientific community. Air! He told the world via a YouTube… Keep Reading


Mizzou Football Team Strikes For Maty Mauk

Columbia, MO Jan. 28, 2016 Taking to Twitter using #whitelinesmatter, the Mizzou football team has threatened to strike again unless Maty Mauk is cleared of all charges and the presidents of the university and these United States of America address the issue of cocaine reform. They are demanding it be legalized in all 50 states immediately. The Mizzou Tigers realized the power they held in the fall of 2015 when a strike led to the resignation of University of Missouri Systems President Timothy Wolfe. The team is using its protesting power this time as a catalyst for major nationwide drug… Keep Reading

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