Man Afraid Country Becoming Sharia Law Police State Content With Current Christian Law Police State

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By: Maximilian Stolte

LAFAYETTE, LA—America and Europe’s white and Christian populations have become increasingly emboldened to physically and verbally attack Muslim minorities in their countries. A flyer passed around the UK titled “Punish A Muslim Day” may be the most blatant example of the intolerance toward people of the Muslim faith. One reason cited, and one that really resonates with local pipe fitter Bubba Thompson, is the fear that their country’s current Christian law police state will be replaced with a Sharia law police state.

“We live in a country that makes laws based on the religion that I believe in. If I’m going to be subjugated to any damn religious rule, it sure as hell better be the one that is saving unborn babies and keeps gays from ruining the sanctity of marriage,” said a twice divorced Thompson from the comfort of his recliner. “I don’t want any damn Muslims coming here and setting up a new police force that looks more like a military than public servants and rules with brute force. The one we have now is perfectly fine! If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”

Thompson regularly consumes, along with cheap beer and processed foods, right-wing propaganda. When asked about the police state which he needs an arsenal of guns to defend his rights against, his only reply is that the current police state is only kept at bay by the government’s wholesome Christian values and his second amendment right to carry equally military grade weaponry.

“If you get Muslim people coming to our country, they’ll persecute us based on our beliefs. That’s not what this country is about. We fled England and started this great nation to escape religious persecution. So we have to let Muslims know that we will not tolerate their beliefs, because they’re not like ours,” Bubba trailed off deep in thought and confusion. After a moment of reflection on his stance and critical thinking, he immediately pushed those thoughts to the back of his head in favor of the rhetoric that he proudly lets govern his beliefs.