16,000-Year-Old Cave Painting Believed To Be First-Ever ‘You Might Be A Redneck’ Joke

By: Andrew Mason

ATLANTA, GA—Anthropologists at Frick’s Cave in Walker County, Georgia, have found what they believe to be the first “you might be a redneck” joke written by an early human from the late Stone Age.

Dr. Regina Graham, professor and co-head of the anthropology department at the University of Georgia, said this was the finding of a lifetime. “Discoveries like this are so important for understanding our ancient roots. It’s things like this that remind me that history can be just as rewarding as a love life.”

“After many hours of work and some collaboration with the archaeology department, we believe we have an accurate translation of the drawing which can be read ‘you might be a redneck if wore the same sleeveless pelt to all 10 of your children’s weddings,’” Graham explained.

Prior to this discovery, the only modern human to make jokes like this was Jeff Foxworthy. Many comedians and anthropologists are now questioning the originality and authenticity of Foxworthy’s work. 

One of the first to speak on the quandary was Jerry Seinfeld. “Why are we stealing jokes from cavemen? If someone doesn’t know something, we ask them if they live in a cave! What’s next, Foxworthy? Are you going to steal some jokes about airline food from the Wright brothers?”

Graham, on the other hand, said she was not concerned about the issue of Foxworthy’s content. “This gives us great insight on the linguistic and social dynamics of these early communities and helps us to follow the evolution of comedy,” said Graham. “This is just one more piece in understanding how prehistoric slap-stick comedy grew into observational cave humor.”

Foxworthy has yet to make a public statement on the accusations but has canceled all his upcoming shows at Stonehenge.