Local Dad Urges ‘Get Some Rest’ For ‘Big Day’ Planned Tomorrow

Local Dad Urges ‘Get Some Rest’ For ‘Big Day’ Planned Tomorrow


By: Maximilian Stolte

Wearing a polo shirt tucked into khakis and brown slip on shoes, local dad Tom Anderson urged all within earshot, “get some sleep tomorrow, we have a big day planned”. His warning about the long day, full of events planned by himself, came right before he turned in for sleep at 10PM this past Friday night. His plan: to wake himself and everyone in the whole damn house up at 7AM Saturday morning.

Liz Anderson, 18, told reporters, “We weren’t sure what it would be. Maybe helping him with yard work, going out to breakfast with our grandparents, or any number of things that none of us wanted to do.” The patriarch of the Anderson family is well known for lacing up his grass stained all white New Balance sneakers, throwing on shorts so short that they are dangerously close to revealing his testicles, putting on socks so long he could wear two pairs of shin guards, and forcing the family to toil in the yard to keep it in tip top shape.

Mark Anderson, 24, had just come home from college to visit and no longer lived under the oppressive suggestion of bedtimes. “He thinks every day is a big day. He says that shit just so we won’t sleep in or be hungover for family time. I just tell him I’m getting some rest and go to the bar after he falls asleep.” Mark went on to say that his not heeding “big day” warnings and staying up all night has gotten him out of many a “dadgenda” filled day.

After disregarding their father’s abrasive suggestion of getting some sleep that night, both Mark and Liz were shocked at how big the day actually was. Their father had planned a whole day in honor of them including all of their favorite activities. Tom Anderson fell victim to the classic dad who cried “big day” scenario.

“How was I supposed to know he rented out a paintball course and invited all my friends? He even got me tickets to my favorite band that night! Wish I wasn’t too hungover to enjoy it,” Mark lamented to reporters. Liz also wished she had gotten some sleep and could have been more attentive at her surprise horseback riding getaway for a day.

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