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Light Yogurt Not Working As Substitution For Karen’s Existential Dread

By: Josie Benedetti Chicago, IL— Administrative Assistant Karen Bundy was looking for something to eliminate the crushing weight of her meaningless existence and some of that pesky weight from her midsection. She found that Yoplait’s new light yogurt options left her still hungry for death and more high calorie snacks later in the day. Bundy was on her morning commute Tuesday when absolutely nothing in her monotonous life changed at all. Coworker Tom Burgerstein reported that Bundy arrived looking worn down, robotic in her movements, and had a general lack of life behind her cold, dead eyes. At lunch, Bundy… … Keep Reading

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