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July 20, 2018 Local/Politics

School Shootings Hit Record Low This Summer Despite Unchanged Gun Laws

By: Harold Castle Washington D.C.—Amidst demonstrations from students demanding gun reform and an unwavering NRA funded GOP, the number of incidents involving guns in schools has dropped to almost zero this summer. While it’s too early to know exactly why this phenomena is happening, some lawmakers on Capitol Hill have a hunch it’s no coincidence. Arizona Senator John McCain attributes the decline to the rising temperatures. “When it’s nice outside everyone is happy. There’s no wonder we aren’t seeing mass shootings in schools this summer. I’m not saying climate change is real, but if it were would it be that… … Keep Reading

December 14, 2017 Politics

If This Was 1977, Americans Wouldn’t Have Been Progressive Enough To Almost Elect A Pedophile For The Senate

By: Jason Elewski Last night was a huge win for pedophiles across the nation. Doug Jones may have taken the Alabama senate seat, but a more important symbolic victory was claimed when celebrity pedophile, Roy Moore, swept up 48.4 percent of the votes from Alabama residents. This marks the first time in American history that a publicly out pedophile nearly won a senate election. Considering the nation’s conservative past, there’s no way that could have happened 40 years ago. People everywhere celebrated by cracking open bottles of champagne and asking children if they would like a sip. At least SOME… … Keep Reading