Chubby Kid With Class Wears Full Tuxedo In Pool

By: Max Stolte

ORLANDO, FL—The game has been irrevocably shook as local chubby youth Walter Pappington entered the pool on spring break in a full tuxedo. While the husky trend setter enjoyed a nice dip in the cool chlorine-filled water, haters were stricken speechless. 

“The other kids didn’t even notice I was fat. Once they saw me dripping in both water and swag, they just wanted to ride my coattails to clout city baby,” said Walter with confidence heretofore unseen. 

Fellow swimmers had some questions and none of them were about his body size. “I wondered if maybe his family was rich. He might have video games that only rich kids get,” Marky Stafford commented. 

Pappington’s signature style took his school by storm. The local tuxedo rental, Tuck’s Tuxes, added a new sale in addition to prom for the swim unit in P.E. class. “I’m cleaning up on these little teapots. My short and stout section was practically moth food before this Walter kid came around,” store owner Tuck Tuxedo told reporters. 

“I already got prom figured out. Since the thinner boys will all be wearing tuxes too, people might notice my size. That’s why I’m gonna wear two tuxes,” Walter said moments before trying to do a kick flip with shades on and eating shit. 

One thing is for sure—being a new father of a baby boy in the 95th percentile for weight, I’m going to be shopping for infant tuxes very soon.