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The Last Straw: This Woman Broke Up With All Of Her Friends After They Forgot Galentine’s Day… AGAIN

By: Jason Elewski CHICAGO, IL—Valentine’s Day is a drag. It’s nothing more than a “corporate Hallmark Frankenstein’s monster created in the name of making more dollars for the failing greeting card industry.” At least that’s what Chelsea Crackers has been saying for the past 5 years and precisely why she doesn’t celebrate the occasion. But rather than ignoring the day entirely, Chelsea opted to celebrate with her single besties on what she calls Galentine’s Day. Every year, Crackers looks forward to the opportunity to honor the bonds that she and her girlfriends have built and just let loose while “those… … Keep Reading


Valentine’s Day: Annual Floral Genocide Ravages Nation

By: Ross Childs CHICAGO, IL — For many, Valentine’s Day is a loving, joyous occasion. However, there are those for whom Valentine’s Day is one of horror, chaos, and terrible loss. The lives of flowers are cut short by the dozens, and their corpses are put on display as grotesque reminders of this annual botanical massacre. Roses, daffodils, carnations, irises, tulips – none are spared on this day. The average flower shop in America will have stems and petals strewn about the ground, but it might as well be piles of bones and blood as doting, love-struck morons purchase bundles… … Keep Reading

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