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millennials

Entertainment/Local/Social

Logan Square Artist Explodes After Failing To Mention Gallery Every Ten Minutes

By: Ross Childs CHICAGO, IL—Tragedy descended upon Logan Square today as local artist, Robrick Lovebridge, burst into a cloud of pink mist after going more than ten minutes without mentioning his latest art gallery. Lovebridge, born Krendall Flerbidge, is a self-proclaimed “master performance artist” who recently opened a performance art gallery in the empty guest room of his friend’s apartment above a coffee aerosol bar. The gallery, titled “Wander-ful Strife” featured Lovebridge brushing his teeth with a buck knife while humming the South African National Anthem, with his roommate eating popcorn from a trash bag. Since opening the gallery one… … Keep Reading

Business/Politics/Social

Millennials Are Literally Killing Baby Boomers: A Look Inside Elderly Death Camps

8/14/2017 By: Maximilian Stolte First it was the housing market, then malls, then fill in the blank market that millennials left in the bloody wake of their anti-corporation agenda. Holding none of the greatest generation’s values dear, these arrogant hipsters believe they are the future and baby boomers are a terrible relic from an ignorant era. It comes as no surprise that these flannel wearing scumbags have built death camps for the elderly and are extinguishing their lives. “The baby boomers are responsible for all of the problems plaguing our generation,” Gabe Townsend told reporters outside the fences that keep… … Keep Reading

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