Finally! Donald Trump Released His Third Grade Diary
By: Maximilian Stolte
President Donald Trump has been under fire since even before he was elected for not releasing his tax returns. He has received flack for demanding Obama release his birth certificate and Hillary release her emails and simultaneously refusing to release his own personal documents under question. It seems today that he has attempted to make amends of his hypocrisy by releasing his third grade diary. Below are some entries from a third grade Donald Trump that provide some insight into the commander-in-chief’s past and present behavior.
“Dear Dairy, Today at lunch I got picked on again. I’ll make them pay sumday. I’ll make them all pay. -Donald T.”
“Dear Direy, Today was Valentine’s and no girls gave me a card. Their all lezbeans. SAD! -Donald T.”
“Dear Direy, I’m sad. Today Jessica said I wasn’t class president, but I won! I hate gurls and all ways will! -Donald T.”
“Deer Diery, Today I started a mishun statemint for a business. If daddy likes it he’ll give me a smol lone of 14 millyun $. -Donald T.”
“Dear Diery, The kids who made fun of me will drop like flies. John.
Alan. Jessica. Mark. Beth. -Donald T.”