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manly

Celebrity/Local

Real Men Love Jesus, This Is Jesus

By: Devin Nevers There are countless ways to discern what makes a guy a real man. Metrics like bench pressing, muskiness, and ball size are some of the easiest ways to separate the authentic from the fraudulent. But even if a guy with gigantic testicles comes strutting into your home gym and pulls  200 pounds of resistance weight on your Bowflex, it’s still quite possible that he isn’t a REAL man. The only way to tell if a dude is the real deal for sure is if he loves Jesus. It’s just a fact, real men love Jesus. They’re just… … Keep Reading

Health/Social

8 Ways To Fix Your Fragile Masculinity With Duct Tape

By: Jennifer Allman 1. Tape your testicles and penis together to form MEGA MEMBER! Unlike your once-fragile male ego, Mega Member is unstoppable! Less susceptible to rogue groin punches and injuries from sports balls, Mega Member is the Optimus Prime of your genitalia. Grab 10-24 inches of duct tape (you know how much you’ll need) and wrap the boys up to finally live a care-free life! Nothing’s hurting your feelings or your junk, bruh. 2. Use duct tape to make fingerless gloves to protect your widdle hands from weak, feminine influences like antibacterial soap, hydrating hand lotion, and platonic hand-holding… … Keep Reading

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